People may not say this often, but everyone loves to hear nice things. A kind word involves taking the time to make other people feel special.
Being kind is not the same thing as being a people pleaser. Have you ever been having a bad day when someone smiled at you, complimented you when you least expect it or hold a door open for you? These tiny acts can, and often do, turn your whole day around.
Kindnesses such as these offer connection and warmth and remind us all we are in this thing called life, filled with all its wonder and anxieties, together.
Many of us struggle with complimenting or saying kind things but we should know that there are also numerous pleasurable benefits for the kind person.
According to research from Emory University, when you are kind to another person, your brain's pleasure and reward centres light up, as if you were the recipient of the good deed-not the giver. This phenomenon is considered the "helper's high." Also, Like most medical antidepressants, kindness stimulates the production of serotonin. This feel-good chemical heals your wounds, calms you down, and makes you happy! Talya Steinberg, Psy.D for Psychology Today
Here are 5 kind phrases;
'I enjoy/love your energy'
I do not recall anyone who would be saddened by this compliment. If you believe a friend or a person you recently interacted with possess infectious positive energy, do not withhold this awesome knowledge. Be sure to mention it, positive affirmations are not just for children, tell people when they have good energy.
What do you think?
People love knowing that you value their opinion especially on subjects they demonstrate expertise on. Phrases like; I'm intrigued about your experience with A." "Can you tell me more about C?" "I'd love to appreciate your opinion on Y." "Can I get your advice on B?". when speaking with someone on a clearly important topic to them, remember to ask their perspective, especially if you indeed require it. it's an excellent way of making people think highly of you, that you are curious and it helps deepen relationships.
I followed your advice.
A few months ago I described to a friend who wanted to start a side hustle how for my fashion business, I decided to focus on wardrobe staples, items that people consider 'must-haves' and how I eliminated middlemen in my procurement process. This has helped me manage costs.
In January this year, she launched her own business; selling home goods and replicated my model. She sent me a WhatsApp message saying 'Chichi, I followed your advice and it has served me. I have made 3 reorders under 3 weeks. Bless you, for sharing with me.' I didn't expect such critical feedback, but it was heartwarming to know she found my advice useful, it worked for her and she let me know. Many times we don't let people know they have done some good to us.
I love the way you think.
We all love to be told we are clever and think well. Midway through an interview with a movie producer, he paused to tell me 'I love the way you think, you ask the keenest questions.' This was fuel to my soul. This aids me to sharpen the questions that followed. No one is averse to kindness or kind words. People like to be told they are brilliant. The next time someone tells you something interesting, be sure to divulge how interesting they are.
I saw something that reminded me of you.
This is a tremendous way of making someone smile. During my NYSC year, I had a roommate who was into faith and spiritual books. A few weeks ago, I saw a copy of one of her favorite books. A book by Kathryn Khulman 'nothing is impossible with God'.
I took a picture of it and sent to her via Facebook. Telling her it reminded me of her. She responded with multiple smiling and laughing emoji and this sparked an extensive conversation and several more conversations. If you see a film or heard a song and it reminded you of someone, let them know.
If you recognise an item that your friend has been trying to acquire, buy it for them(if you can afford it) or send them the link to the shop or directions.
A few more :
'you look good or fit or beautiful.
'I have missed you.
'I admire X about you.'
Thank you for being a nice person',
'The last time we spoke you told me about A, how is it going?'
'I love the way you see life'
Our words hold power - both the kind and unkind
Why not say the kind ones?