I was going through the dictionary to check meaning of words while reading an exciting novel, it later occurred to me, if it is to be Honourable Patrick Obahiagbon that is to teach us simple proverbs and their meaning in school, how is it going to sound like, going by the way he murders vocabulary...
But nothing spoil sha, I was able to come up with these ones and funny enough, it looks really close to what he would say when asked to teach in a class....
Please enjoy, and add yours if you have....
ORDINARY ENGLISH: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: Twinkle,
twinkle, little star
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: All that glitters is not gold.
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: Beggars are not choosers
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: Dead men tell no tales
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: Beginner's luck
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: Neophyte's serendipity.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: A rolling stone gathers no moss
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: Birds of a feather flock together
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: Beauty is only skin deep
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
ORDINARY ENGLISH: Cleanliness is godliness
HON. PAT'S ENGLISH: Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.